Prayer brings up a lot of life images for me. I remember clearly Wednesday Night Prayer Meeting growing up in a small, very small, country church. There prayer was defined by who you prayed with. The men prayed with the men, the women with the women, and us kids - well, we went to the basement, were asked to pray by a tired adult. We did. And the prayers were sincere, and very very short - because then we played tag outside while the adult petitions were made in greater length.
It was a rite of passage to join the adults, to try not to fidget during the long litany of requests. But we grew older, stopped fidgeting and added our own voice and requests to the list. It was a community and we felt the sense of a group of people coming before God to ask for each other in catch phrases that outsiders might or might not understand.
Then there was college, which gave me a two-faced look at prayer. There were the Missionary prayer bands - the called Prayer Meetings. Often platforms for those who had speaking skills and leadership savvy to spread their wings. While I know there was some sincerity there, I also know what happened the night I shared deep, real feelings of doubt in that context and deep reality met hardened cliche.
But the other side of college prayer was the bonding I felt when praying with a friend, a real friend. When the two of you couldn't see the answers and decided to bring God into the picture, to plead for help, comfort, or a direction to take. It was grounding - those conversations. The unexpected night on a bus coming back from a ball game, when we learned we were at war. We all stood up and sang the national anthem and then we prayed. Real prayers with halting words and uncertain feelings with young men who would soon see the desert sun in Iraq. I saw both the fake and real of prayer in college.
In later life I would run into yet another form of prayer. I call it the escape prayer. It is used in certain scenarios - let me set a few up for you:
A young mother is struggling with sleep deprivation, baby blues, and two toddlers. Her Bible study leader, a woman ten years younger with no family, but a paid position in the church hierarchy sees the mother breaking down in a corner. She immediately goes to the rescue, going to the woman and saying "let me pray for you." It is an impassioned prayer for God to come and solve the mothers problems, to be the all powerful God that he can be. Upon a final emotionally laden amen, from the leader, she departs and moves on to her next responsibility. The mother is not uplifted at all by the prayer and feels even more depressed and lonely afterward.
A church leader has had a lot of ups and downs with the new pastor in their ministry. Personality conflicts have abounded, and multiple attempts have been made for understanding and reconciliation. The leader thought the last attempt was somewhat successful, the scene has been relatively calm and quiet, for months. And slowly the leader has come back to focus on the ministry rather than the conflict. And then his superior comes into his office, with a pink slip. After explaining that it was God's will that they part company the pastor asks to pray with the leader. In shock and loss the man listens to another who doesn't understand, who has caused the loss of a loved ministry, petition God for peace in his life.
A church member sincerely trying to look into serious allegations in his church goes through a shunning by church leadership, after a week of failed meetings, deleted social media comments, unreturned e-mails, and being asked to leave the church property by security guards, he is finally contacted by a church leader. This church leader answers none of his questions, simply stating that he trusts the leadership above him in the matter. He then asks if he can pray with the man. The man refuses feeling rejected.
It is a prayer offered by those who feel spiritually superior, by means of either position or a self-concept. When given, it allows them to walk away from an uncomfortable situation, or a situation beyond their own capability without a loss of Christian veneer. They get to continue to think of themselves as spiritually superior, while the person that they are praying for really receives nothing - nothing good anyways. Are they really invoking God in these one sided conversations - I don't honestly know. To me it seems so decidedly one sided that it is hard to imagine his presence.
I have come to be very wary of this escape prayer. It feels false. It doesn't come from a place of friendship or understanding. It doesn't come when both parties are facing circumstances so large that regardless of their relationship they can join in petition to the Holy one. It isn't the true desire of a stranger to offer comfort to another who is struggling to a point of wordlessness at an alter call. It is an escape, an ending of a conversation or an evading of one.
It is my belief that the churches greatest enemy is not outside its walls. And the greatest weapons on the field are not the worlds, but the ones that Christ has given us when they are twisted to purposes they were never meant for. The Bible asks us to put on the armor of God with prayer. Prayer can be powerful, healing, helping. Yet when used insincerely, falsely, as a weapon, or an escape it is capable of unleashing spiritual destruction.
