My Dear Girls,
Right now you are being hit on every side by "what do you want to do" "what occupation will you aim for" "choose your course of study for your future dream job" "Here are the steps you need to take to land the exact right job for you." "Take this interest assessment to see where you should work."
It can be a lot of pressure, right now. People expect you to have a course set, to know your strengths and weaknesses, to have a dream job picked out, to know how to get there. And maybe you have that job picked out and maybe you don't know yet. And both of those are Ok.
Some day you may have an occupation, and there are some things you need to know about the future work force that awaits you.
#1 a dream job is still a job. Which means that even if you are fortunate enough to have a job that you love, know that there will be parts of it that you will not love. That even a dream job will take work. That there are days where the alarm will ring and all you will want to do is throw the covers over your head and pretend it is Saturday.
#2 learn to work hard. There is something rewarding in a hard days work. Learn how to put that in, day after day, without complaining. Every job is hard in some way. Some are physically hard, your body goes home tired and exhausted. Others are mentally challenging pushing you to absorb and assimilate even more than you think you can. Others are stressful in other ways, working with people or with things that you have no control over. As humans, we like to "brag" about how hard we have it. "you can't believe what I have to put up with at my job!" But remember a job is work, and don't get sucked into that comparison game, 'cause no one wins and you end up feeling worse about that work part. If you work hard and don't complain, you will earn respect along with the paycheck.
#3 when you can, give a new job time to even out. There is a learning curve out there. And starting new jobs is like any other change in life - it takes time to get your skills developed, it takes time to know your way around and problem solve for the new stuff. Job-hoping from one new job to another never looks great on your resume after more than a round or two. Careers aren't like clothes, to be taken off and washed every day. Once you get past the part-time high school jobs and the summer jobs, and into the world of "careers" make sure you have a goal of trying to stay a year at least, and two years can be even better. You find that time will ease some of the the big problems and give you a perspective, even if you do choose to move forward.
#4 a job does not define you, oh it is a part of life, make no mistake, and it may devour a lot of your time, but it isn't you - not really. When things go horrible at work, you are not a horrible person. If you get paid more than someone else you are not better than them. It may reflect your interests, and some of your values - but it is not your interests and values - you own who you are, not your job. Your job may not reflect any of your interests, and those are harder places to land for a season, but take it as a season to live through not that you are a failure for not having been able to procure that elusive "dream job". And if you end up in one of those days where everything goes sour and you hate your job (and those days happen) be able to realize that while you are not in a happy place, you do not have to become an unhappy person. And that is written quite glibly - but it can be one of the hardest things in the world to learn to do. You won't ever accomplish that on your own by the way, you'll need divine help.
#5 an occupation, profession, job or workplace, is not the most important thing in your life, even though it may take up a lot of it. It can never take the place of your faith, your family, and even your friends. Balancing things out is not easy, it is a struggle sometimes and some seasons. There will be the judgement calls on whether to use a day off to stay with a sick child or support a friend at a funeral. There are a few jobs where you don't have a choice due to their nature, emergency services, etc. And there are times where you do choose your job first, nothing wrong with that - because it is a judgement call. Just don't give all of that over for a job, because even the dreamiest of dream jobs, is not worth it.
#6 there are times to leave jobs. Sometimes life moves you forward, a move, a change that you have no control over. Some jobs actually need to be left. The ones that make you sick with stress. The ones that undermine your faith or family and expect to be first in line. There are jobs that are dangerous that you can feel called to - like a firefighter or law enforcement. Those are hard jobs. And it is OK to be in one of those dangerous jobs, as long as that call is built into you. But when a job turns dangerous, and it wasn't supposed to be, when there is harassment, or unease that goes beyond a simple uncomfortableness with something new or something hard, you need to ask the hard questions. Because sometimes the uncertainty of stepping away from a paycheck or a job that "used to be" a good job, is something that needs to be considered seriously.
#7 being a mom is a job. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. And some people will work two jobs, or three. (Not a reference to how many kids you have - though the "mom job" has different dynamics with more kids.) Some will have the option of putting all of their time into their children for a season, or for more. No matter where you land, you will second guess it, if you have children. Welcome to motherhood - all that second guessing and worrying comes with the territory. The key is not thinking that everyone needs to do one thing, or fit into one model. And if a model isn't working for your family - you find ways to change the model. Moms do that, all the time. However, you may find yourself in places where you cannot change the model. And then you pray, a lot. Please know, if you end up being that mom. The one who prays because life has you hemmed in and boxed out and you cannot grasp what you think is best for your children or yourself, please know - that God hears, and that your circumstances may not change, but he will be there with you, and he will be there with your children even in your bleakest places.
#8 some jobs have a tendency to creep in. They creep into the time off the clock, they hungrily eat your vacation up, they can consume you by demanding more, more time, more energy, more than you can give. Be wary of those jobs that will not respect healthy barriers. Make sure that you set healthy barriers. Because it's also not fair to blame a job with "creeping in" if you are unwilling to set those barriers. Then it's not the jobs fault. (And don't beat yourself up if you have to practice setting up those barriers a few times - it takes practice that "balance" thing.)
#9 paychecks are nice, and need to be weighed when making decisions, though money is just money, it isn't time, family, or anything else - just money. Sometimes you need money. There are lines of course. Things that never should be sold for money. Yet money can determine courses of action. This is reality. Very few people dream of being a garbage collector in high school. Very few guidance counselors have a path of course choices for it. Yet it is a job with decent wages and is not likely to become obsolete. Not a fun job, a working job. And if you are looking at supporting a family, you start to look at things like that. Jobs that you might hold for a long time, jobs that are not fun, but solid. Please know that there is nothing wrong with these jobs. One of my grandfathers ran a filling station, another was a school janitor. Your grandfather, my father was a letter carrier and a soldier. Your grandmother, my mother, a seamstress. No grandiose "professions" just solid hardworking people who provided for their families. Do not be ashamed of a job that is a job, that you work hard at and get a paycheck for the time and work that you put in.
#10 remember the value of supporting your interests outside a job. Tolkien wrote some very popular books, but he was not an author by trade, he was a professor. There are times when a job may support your life, but not your dreams. And that is OK. Because there is still room for your dreams - it just may take some creative scheduling and investing.
Some of this you've heard from me, some may be new. I do not know what lies ahead for you and I don't know what advice that I give may be useful, and what is decidedly not helpful. You get to decide that down the road. And you have my blessing on discarding anything that is not useful. Yet some of it might help someday, and so you are getting this letter, because unspoken advice tends to be really unhelpful.
With love in your future jobs, occupations, and professions,
Mom
