because it's not happily ever after. . . freedom to struggle

It's been a while since I've written anything here. But today I am driven here by life to help me process things.

My own job hangs on a thread with  political agendas and budget cuts.

My brother in law has been forced from his position as a teacher (something he had remarkable skill at) because an administrator just didn't like him.

Our youth pastor has been asked to leave a thriving ministry that is very much a reflection of his heartbeat, because of personality differences with the governing body of the church.

Of all of these, it is the last that seems to sting most. And I know why. Because the church, the body of believers is supposed to be better than that. We are supposed to be able to work through personality differences. Firings like this should be because of moral failure, not - "We find it difficult to work with you." Especially when there are so many families involved. So many many teens whose lives have been impacted, a wife who has impacted just as many. Four young children, too young too understand.

But then I don't understand either.

There is going to be grieving here.

But it won't turn to railing against the church, as much as I am tempted. Because there is this thing in the Bible, a theme of sorts - and paraphrased it goes like this.

Just 'cause you are a Christian doesn't mean you are good.

Even the redeemed are broken.

We don't focus on this in the church. Maybe because we are all pursuing peace and happiness and joy, and to be sure, that is there, but there are equal measures of broken nastiness, the mire that we just can't seem to escape.

I've never heard a sermon on how David - the one who would be king, who would be given important promises from God, whose bloodline would lead to Jesus. Yup that David, "The man after God's own heart, David" how the end of his life was miserable.He made disastrous choices, and his family life was a wreck. His kids were evil and the end of David's life is simply heartbreaking. We don't hear sermons like that, and if we do it is all about a warning - "don't make those choices, raise your families right."

But what if there is more than a warning. What if the story has more to it. What if it follows the same theme that held true in the lives of the patriarchs in Genesis, or the apostles in the New Testament, or Paul the missionary. What if it isn't a warning, but a statement. "Even when you believe in God, life will be a struggle."

There is no "smooth sailing after salvation" clause. Nor is there an agreement that we are going to make right choices, react in godly ways. In fact there is very little empirical evidence that Christians will live much differently than those who do not believe the Bible.

And for me there is a comfort in the fact that the Bible reflects this. It talks about real broken people. Paul who argued with Barnabas - a difference of opinion that became "we cannot work together". The letters to the churches - sheesh! guess what, those churches had issues, and we still do. The leaders and array of humanity listed in scripture have an overriding theme -
busted up,
broken,
sinful,
not good,
evil.

So where does that leave us.

It gives us freedom to flail, to struggle, to realize that we are broken.
It gives us freedom to accept that life is a struggle and that "happily ever after" might not happen, but that is OK - because there is something deeper than that in the journey.
It lets us cherish peace and joy when they are there in the middle of the struggle - because that is one of those inexplicable treasures that God gives us.
It allows for grief over our own brokenness and over it in the lives that touch us.

And those are good things. That is where we want to be.
Because think of stopping to struggle - that is death. And we can long for the end of that struggle and look forward to it, but if we stop trying to fight while we are still alive we become nothing more than a zombie. (Yes, our youth pastor has had a mark - I just used the word "zombie".)

And if we stop grieving over brokenness we are a no longer what we should be. No longer humans in God's image, but something less.

So today I will grieve.

Today I will struggle.

And I will find comfort in that.