Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Freedom

I am working on several themed duct tape book satchels today. My most challenging one is for Exploint No More and is supposed to be on the topic of freedom.

The term freedom in this case means freedom from human trafficking, sexual exploitation, and on a deeper level, spiritual freedom from those dark places.

It's hard to find an image that I want to use. I can immediately bypass the images of the American flag, Lady Liberty, bald eagles - even one of an upended M-16 with a soldiers helmet reminding me of the cost that we pay. But this is a different cost and a different war.

I can't seem to bond with images of birds or butterflies being set free, while some are very beautiful - I feel they speak to the animals freedom and today I don't feel very much like a bird. Though I would love the freedom of flight. Broken shackles and chains reminds me of different types of prison, and I realize that today I am locked into a very literal mood on a concept that can't be so literally defined.

There are themes - humans jumping for joy - arms outstretched with abandon. Jumping into the surf, jumping in a field of flowers, jumping off cliffs. . . .  that last one chimes.

Why this one? After all jumping off a cliff has a good chance of a messy ending. Casts, traction, years of therapy, metal implants, and coffins are decidedly not images of freedom. From someone who at one point contemplated suicide as a form of freedom - I guess I could see it from that angle. But I don't think that these images are speaking to the dark thoughts I had in that stage of my life.

These jumps are about letting go - for me - of fears that hold  back. I am deeply acrophobic, and a slew of other unreasonable fears have started to creep in at various points in my life. Try explaining "fear of waterparks" to your teenager. I detest social conflict so much that I become unsociable. Solitude suits me well, even though I know it is unhealthy. I would love to jump away from these fears, and maybe even away from the boundaries of the "common sense" logic that often drives my decision making.

I would love to jump away from unspoken social rules that dictate who I am and what I can do, housework, squabbling kids, mommy guilt, the need to decide what is for supper.

And with that statement I realize if I take that jump I will find rocks at the bottom of my cliff. Somethings we do need to try and escape - we should be looking for ways to end injustice and suffering. And God doesn't want his children bound by fear. There are things we should desire freedom from.

Other times, while a break from the "mom job" might be quite healthy, dropping the role altogether isn't real freedom. Freedom from social interaction is another one of those areas, though I have less success in stating reasons why - call it a gut instinct. Maybe it is the fact that we need to be cautious about desiring a freedom from responsibility - in any of it's forms. Whether that is deciding on tonight's menu or recognizing that human trafficking is right outside my door and that I need to do what I can to help.

So my mind circles this morning, picking at the concept of freedom. Time to stop mulling it over and get out my duct tape.

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